Saturday, July 12, 2014

When your kids don't look like you...

I've often been mistaken for the babysitter. Or adoptive mum. Because my kids do look a little 'different' to the average Aussie kid - because my husband and I are of vastly different genetic heritages. 

I have to say, when I've been asked, "Where did you get him from?" (him, being my eldest), I've chuckled and said, "the hospital - my uterus!" I've always just figured people are curious and making conversation.

My hubby was not always as nonchalant about it and got quite miffed a number of times when people said (in that slow, weird kind of way), "Umm.. he doesn't look much like you, does he?" (he being our youngest, who was blonde and blue-eyed and the polar opposite of my dark hair/skin/eyed hubby).

He would come home steaming, muttering about how dumb people might perceive him to be. I reminded him their comment was directed more towards ME and the possibility of my indisgression! Pfft!

After it happened the first few times, though, he really loved playing with people. When asked, "Is your wife very... fair..?", he often told them no, I was dark like him!

Cue stunned silence. And he laughing like a madman on return to his car. 

People usually aren't trying to be rude - they're just curious. I hope.

In reality, our kids are a really interesting blend of both of us. They all started off blue-eyed and fair haired (like me) and have grown into their own features as they've developed.

The big two's eyes changed (around 5) to a really interesting green colour. We're waiting to see what happens to the Small Boy's eyes... is it too much to hope I might get to keep one little baby-blue like me? After all, J's family is a mixed heritage one, too - with a fair, Dutch grandfather a bit further up the family tree.

Their skin keeps darkening as they grow, too. In the end, I think they'll be somewhere between the two of us. And probably tan really quickly in the Summer (assuming I ever let them out without hats, rash shirts and boardies - I am used to a life of pale, after all).

But to be honest, I don't even really see colour unless I think about it. People are who they are.

And those little round faces, with his nose and my chin are just the beautiful, perfect faces of small people I love.

And when we watch them play, J and I squeeze each other with delight and say, "Can you believe we made them?"



  1. Bloody hell I get that ALL the time, my daughter looks NOTHING like me, as you will see on my posts. I don't care though as I know she has my heart, my sensitivity and my compassion... and her dad's colourings...........

  2. It actually does my head in when people try to figure out which parent the kids look like... they look like themselves is what I want to say, but I dont because I dont want to offend the offender lol. My boys are all fair skinned and blonde hair where is my skin has been leathered due to years of sun abuse and I dye my hair dark. go figure ;) xx

  3. Mine are not like me either, at first glance, and it annoys me people only see 'colour'. Dark hair, dark eyes... oh, they look like dark hair, dark eyes Daddy. I just want to hug those who do look beyond and do see they are just a dark version of me... being adopted myself means my little ones are the only ones I know who are a part of me. I love that they do look 'a little bit' like me too.


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