Sunday, October 30, 2011

Thirteen...

Thirteen years ago my life was turned upside down - an ending and a beginning and a nineteen year old girl lost in the confusion. Today marks the anniversary of the beginning of my adulthood.


This tree is on our street... it flowers for a few weeks a year and was flowering tonight.
We put the kids in the car, set up the tripod and ended up having to use the
headlights for light... We take so many photos of the kids' milestones,
I wanted something for us. To mark 13 years of ups and downs,
of sharing and loving and growing older (growing up?) together.


Thirteen years ago today, Jase and I moved furniture, unpacked boxes and set up our first home. We were so excited, two youngsters playing 'house' and rattling around our new place like tic tacs in a shoebox. What would we ever do with such a big home, we wondered. When would we ever get enough furniture to make it looked lived in?

On the other side of the country, my Dad's life was ending. It was sudden and shocking but at the same time a day I had been expecting for some time. It didn't need to happen, but it finally had.

When I look over my life, I see so many instances of death and rebirth in the same instance. This is just perhaps the most obvious, so today I pause to think about how far I've come in thirteen years.

I look around at all I have been blessed with - a full pantry, somewhere soft and warm to lay my head at night and four of the most beautiful people I could ever imagine. And stuff. Too much stuff.  So much stuff that sometimes my biggest gripe is what to do with it all. What a problem to have! Thirteen years ago, I could never have imagined I could ever face that sort of conundrum.

I search my heart and I find it full of hope and love... and faith that things always happen for a reason, that every lesson brings me closer to the sort of person I want to be. I have faith too, that those I love are never lost and that God watches over us until we meet again.

I thank God - for giving me the dark days so that I can bask in the glorious sunshine when the clouds finally part, appreciating the small things and (trying) never to take things for granted. And for giving me Jason. My friend, the father of my children, my love. The man who knows all my quirks and flaws and loves me regardless. I am blessed.


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